I remember years ago before I moved here I was at Lo de Celia’s at an afternoon milonga. There was a man I was dying to dance with. He was wearing a dark blue shirt. He was a great dancer and he never gave me the cabaceo no matter how many times I starred at him. That afternoon he finally invited me to dance. I waited for him to cross the floor and come for me. When he did and I went into his embrace, I realized why his shirt was dark blue; it was soaking wet.
I danced the entire tanda with him mortified. I didn’t know what to do. When the tanda was over the front of my dress was not only wet, I smelled like his horrible deodorant. Many men in Buenos Aires who cannot afford cologne douse themselves with deodorant. It was horrible.
If the same thing would happen today, I would decline the dance. It actually did happen to me last summer. A man came for me on the floor. I did not realize he was wet until we went into the embrace. Yeech. I moved apart from him. He immediately asked me “What’s wrong?” So I told him “You are a little wet.” Little was an understatement. He hesitated and then asked me if I wanted to continue to dance, I told him not really. It was difficult because walking off the floor is an embarrassment here. He was a gentleman to ask. He should have brought another shirt. Gentlemen Lesson #1, if you are prone to sweat bring a second shirt with you. If the man is uncomfortably wet, you should nicely excuse yourself from the dance. The key word is “nicely” and then go to the lady’s room.
A friend of mine took a woman to dance. He said her cologne was so overpowering that he almost fainted during the tanda. He said that he always wanted to dance with this woman but never again, it was like she was wearing the entire perfume counter of Marks and Spencer. He said he really suffered dancing with her. The perfume was not only strong, it was a terrible scent. He said he continued dancing with her because he didn’t know what else to do. He said dancing with her gave him a headache.
Gentlemen I am sure you have been in this position before where the woman in your arms either has too much perfume on or maybe the opposite, maybe she doesn’t smell all that wonderful. What do you do? Do you continue dancing or say something? I think that depends on you. If you can continue, then do, but if you cannot then you must “nicely” end the dance. Give her a smile and thank her and then just head for the men’s room. She will think you have a “gentlemen’s emergency.”
It is important to remember that tango is an intimate dance. You need to remember that you will be spending most of the evening in the arms of another person. Think about that before you head out the door for an evening of dancing.
® Deby Novitz 2008TangoSpam all rights reserved. No parts of this may be reproduced without permission of the author
Deby Novitz' blog can be found at
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