Tango Thoughts

Tia Deby: The exhibitionista...

I remember once when I was watching an exhibition of a woman teacher in California many of us didn’t much care for we actually laughed when she fell out of her dress.  That is correct.  She was wearing a dress that might have looked good if you stood still, but it was a dress not made for dancing.  The second she turned way too far, the whole room knew exactly what she had.  Her dress was padded. Her exhibition was ruined.  She had brought someone from Buenos Aires to show off with.  Unfortunately the show she had in mind was not exactly what happened.

A couple of years ago here in Buenos Aires in Niño Bien I was watching the exhibition of another well known dancer.  She was wearing a flowing dress.  She had gained a tremendous amount of weight and the dress covered some of it.  She did a back boleo. It was a beautiful boleo until her heel got caught in the skirt of the dress.  She tried valiantly to undo her heel without stopping her presentation but it was impossible.  I felt sorry for her having been there myself.

Wardrobe malfunction.  The terror of any female tango dancer.  When buying clothes to dance tango you need to make sure that besides being pretty they are functional.  Can you move in them?  Are they fluid?  Are you going to constantly worry about the darn thing falling off?  What happens if it does?

I have a dress that is low cut.  When I dance with men who have good posture my dress stays in place.  A couple of weeks ago I danced with several gentlemen who did not have quite the posture, so after every song, I would have to readjust my dress.  My dress was black and so was my bra.  I acted like it was no big deal.  I told one man “Would you please stop undressing me here?”  He laughed and told me it was probably the only place he would ever get to undress me.  I should never have worn this dress or pinned it so it would not open.  I knew it was a problem from the start.

The most important thing is to keep your composure.  Don’t panic.  Either fix the situation immediately or excuse yourself from the floor and your partner.  I admired tremendously the dancer whose heel caught in her skirt.  She kept her composure throughout the exhibition, even cracking a smile when her heel became free.

When you are uncomfortable with your clothes you cannot dance.  Just like your shoes, if they are not comfortable you defeat the whole purpose of why you are there.  Think about it.  Do you want to come to a milonga dressed like a Barbie doll in a dress you are afraid will fall off in shoes that are not really that comfortable?  Somehow that does not seem to make much sense.  When you come to Buenos Aires, you probably notice that we dress comfortably.  Why?  Because we want to enjoy ourselves in the milonga, and you should too.

® Deby Novitz 2008TangoSpam all rights reserved. No parts of this may be reproduced without permission of the author


Deby Novitz' blog can be found at
 http://tangospam.typepad.com/tangospam_la_vida_con_deb/

What to eat today?

Dulce de Leche pancakes of course!?

Where to buy Dulce de Leche

Buen provecho!

Love is... 2x4

Before writing this post, I must apologise to everyone who received multiple copies of the newsletter.  Am really sorry, we were trying out a new system and clearly it was affected by lovebugs.

Newsletter out in email as normal next week.  If you're not subscribed, you can send an email to me with 'SUBSCRIBE' in the subject header.

NEWSLETTER BELOW

Hola Todos!

Short and sweet, small but perfectly formed, yes it's the latest news from A Taste of Tango.

Abrazos gets more romantic this Friday

Tia Deby: Sense & Social-ability...

Women's Technique Workshops in March

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Abrazos: Romance de Barrio

Tributes of love in note form will be echoed by the sentiments

on the floor...

Cortinas: Motown

Abrazos happens every Friday 9.30pm-1.00am

Entrance £10

BYOB

See the website for map and more info

http://www.abrazos.co.uk

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Tia Deby...Sense & Social-ability...

Don't teach, get taught or expect to be taught in a milonga,

it's not a class : ), that's the message from our Tia this week.

Facebook

http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=5007679106&topic=7019

Tango Thoughts (the blog)

http://tangothoughts.typepad.co.uk/tango_thoughts/2009/02/tia-deby-sense-socialability.html

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Women's Technique Workshops in March

Girls, let's have some time together to really work on technique

in some good sized sessions at the Garden Shed, all because

the lady loves a good dance (and milk tray, or Ferrero Rocher)

14th March: Walking, Balance & Posture, 1:30-5:00pm

21st March: Ochos & Pivots, 1:30-5:00pm

28th March: Giros, 1:30-5:00pm

For more info & booking

http://www.tasteoftango.co.uk/wtw.html

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Abrazos...

Jenney Surelia

jenney@tasteoftango.co.uk

07956 473 476

http://www.tasteoftango.co.uk

A Taste of Tango: Growing Tango in London

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Stay in the know with the latest Tango news.

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Facebook group:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=5007679106

Blog:

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Feel free to forward this newsletter to your friends.

Tia Deby: Sense & Social-ability....

A milonga is a social event.  It is where we go to dance, to enjoy our friends.  A practica is where we go to practice tango, and a class is where we go to learn to dance tango.  Why is it that some people don’t get it?  I realize outside of Buenos Aires, a milonga and a practica are sometimes the same, but how can anyone confuse a class with a milonga?

You know exactly what I mean.  It has happened to all of us.  You are dancing with someone and all of a sudden, the lesson starts.  “You need to move your foot just a little more this way.” Or “I want to show you a better way to do that step.”  When we were beginners we loved it.  But as we advance as dancers we don’t want that dance lesson, we just want to dance.

It is rude to give unsolicited advice. This goes for on and off the dance floor. (Try and remember that.) Adults do not like to be told what to do.  So why on earth does someone think they have the right to tell you how to dance?  Ladies, that goes for you too.  I see you reading this and wagging those fingers at the men, but you do it too.  I know, because the men tell me you do.

If you don’t like how the guy or gal is dancing, then simply don’t dance with them again. It is real simple.  As someone who has taught, I know what the errors are of someone I am dancing with, but I resist the urge to correct.  When I am dancing with students I never corrected them in the milonga because it is not the place.  I simply enjoy the dance for what it is.

What do you do when someone wants to correct you?  You should be direct and tell them “Please, I do not want a lesson while I am dancing.”  I had another friend who would say “I don’t do verbal leads.”  If they continue, then simply agree to end the dance.  Your invitation was to dance, not for a lesson.

There is a fine line between advice and comfort.  I remember once asking a man if he could please lower his left arm down to my eye line.  He had it way up high and dramatic.  He proceeded to lecture me about a class he had just taken.  I told him that was fine, but I as the woman was uncomfortable with my arm way up in the sky and could not dance that way.  He then again began to quote his teacher – a name brand. I told him fine, go dance with him and walked off the floor. 

In the above instance I was asking the man to please adjust so that I would be more comfortable.  I was not criticizing him.  You should always be comfortable in your dance. This was a little thing the man could have done.  Instead he gave me a lecture about why the arm needed to be that way.   

We all know who the perennial lesson givers are in our communities.  They are not going to change.  They have a need to give advice.  My advice to you, is don’t dance with them if you don’t want a lesson, no matter how much you love that tanda.

® Deby Novitz 2008TangoSpam all rights reserved. No parts of this may be reproduced without permission of the author

Deby Novitz' blog can be found at
http://tangospam.typepad.com/tangospam_la_vida_con_deb/

Tia Deby: Tango Combat, the path to peace...

There you are in dance trance in the arms of one of your favorite dancers while the DJ is playing your favorite tango when all of a sudden a shooting pain hits your leg or you find yourself being knocked around.  What do you do?

 

A)   Throw your arm out and push the offending couple as far away as you are able to, the brutes.

B)   If you have been stabbed, grab your leg and wince as loud as you can so everyone in the entire milonga knows what a grave injustice has been done, to embarrass the idiot who did that ridiculous boleo.

C)   If you have been somewhat hurt, cry out, grab your partner, and limp off the floor in a dramatic presentation that would win an academy award.

D)   Stop, smirk at the offending couple in a way that you hope will wither them into the dance floor.

E)    Stop, raise your hand in a conciliatory move and continue dancing.

 

If you were the one who did the stabbing or banging into then you should:

A)   Continue dancing and ignore whatever happened, after all  people should expect this sort of thing.

B)   Glare at the other couple, especially if they are making ridiculous noises about being injured.

C)   Stop and make sure everyone is OK before continuing to dance.

There is not excuse for bad manners anywhere in life and the dance floor is no exception.  I do not know why people think it is OK to bump into people, stab them with their heel, kick people, and elbow others, without acknowledging it.  You would never do that on the street, but somehow it seems OK for some people to do it on the tango dance floor. I regret to inform you, it is not.

If this should happen to you, you need to behave yourself whether you are the offender or the recipient of the offensive move.  I am sure it was accidental no matter what you think.  The first thing you do is to quickly assess the damage. If you are not mortally wounded, then look to the other couple for a quick nod of the head for an apology and continue to dance.  It is what we do here in Buenos Aires. If none comes, then continue dancing.

If you are wounded then take yourself off the dance floor.  You don’t need to alert the entire milonga that this happened.  I sincerely doubt you will need an ambulance.  Usually a short rest and at the most some ice should put you back on the dance floor.

 If you are the perpetrating couple you have a different set of rules.  How many times have I said “No high boleos in the milonga?”  We can always tell you foreign girls in our milongas because you just can’t keep your feet on the floor.  Sigh… 

Anyway, regardless, if you stab someone, bang into someone, or kick them, you need to apologize.  You should never keep dancing or worse make a face at them and keep dancing.  If there is a shriek of pain, stop, and make sure you did not actually wound the person, apologize.  If need be, help them off the dance floor.  If not after you apologize, continue to dance.

Here in Buenos Aires, we always try to acknowledge when we have bumped into someone.  It is only good manners.  Which is the point, there is never an excuse for bad manners.

® Deby Novitz 2008TangoSpam all rights reserved. No parts of this may be reproduced without permission of the author

Deby Novitz' blog can be found at
http://tangospam.typepad.com/tangospam_la_vida_con_deb/